Just playing

I just must write this one down.
What my boy said this morning
when he saw the last picture
of John Lennon with Yoko Ono.

"First I thought she was sitting
in an underground duct.
Then I saw that she had just taken her cloths of
and climbed up on her mom.
Maybe she was playing indian"

"Först trodde jag att hon satt i en underjordisk gång.
Sedan såg jag att hon bara klätt av kläderna
och klättrat upp på sin mamma.
Hon lekte kanske indian."

("She" is John. And indians climb trees!)

Please scroll to the right!

> > > > > > > PLEASE SCROLL TO THE RIGHT ! > > > > > > >
www.olgaportrait.com

I love doing this

I have been able
to do some photography
for custumers lately.
I feel as though
the customers are giving me
the artistic freedom
to do what I want
with their portraits.
To play with them.
And it is a pure joy!

So much technique to learn
I keep taking pictures.
More and more.
And I would really like
to know
how my camera works.

Travelling



Now I know (again) how I like to travle.
I know what I like to do when I travle.
I like to collect seashells and little rocks on the shore.
I like to take pictures with my camera.
I like to sit quietly at a bench or in a bar or maybe inside a cathedral
and write down my thoughts.
That´s how I like to travle.

Feels as though my seven days on Sardinia
were all worth while
just for the sake of coming back home
to my beloved little son!!!!!

No calendar

click to enlarge!

This post is a response to Christianne :-)

See! Here is my planning at the moment!
Usually I do not use our blackboard this way.
At the moment though,
I have a few things too many
to keep them all in my head.

Noak had drawn pretty lines on the blackboard
and I filled dates into different areas;
and wrote things planned into them.

I have never used a calendar successfully.


. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


A thing I love and that WORKS for me though,
is a book with plain white pages that I use
for thoughts, dreams, plans, to-do-lists, etc...

And every here and there in it
Noak surprises me with his drawings!

Read this too, please :-)

I wish to be a responsable grown-up

...but I often find myself feeling as a helpless child
comfused in this big, complicated world.
Feeling not clever enough
to handle the responsability it takes.

Important to me is not to be a burden to anyone -
and to give of what I have.
If I can keep handeling this,
I will feel responsable enough -
and peaceful.

My fright is money.
(I do never want to take loans)
My money may be all gone in a very short amount of time.
I have no plan for how to get (enough) new money.

Strangely, in the same time I feel peace
that it will be solved.
What have I done to make sure it will be?
(I have prayed and handed it over to God
So God: Please, TELL ME what I am to do !)
I´ld like to be responsable -
But how?????

Today Noak made an bow and arrow.
Today we made pizza.
Today we hung curtains in the livingroom.

Somehow the world keeps spinning...

click to enlarge

Life and Death

Today is the day my aunt was born
many, many years ago...
I will call her a bit later.

My eyes are wet.
My heart is peaceful.

So much life and death.

This month, last year my Father
passed away peacefully at home
with my Mother and my little brother
close to him.

My dear friend in this house has a
new little life growing in her womb!
And I have the honor and joy
to follow her to hospital
to be at her side
and see this little growing life on the monitor
waving its legs and arms
and to see its preacious little heart pump!

(Also in this entrance where we live -
on second floor
is little Emma, Annies newborn sister.
She was borned one week earlier than Ewan...)

There is much life and death now.

My dear Annika lost her Mother
three days ago.
Abby lost her grandmother
and my oldest brother has lost his wife.
Jenny and Josef lost their daughter.

Wenke never came to bed and
in the Sunday morning
my brother found her dead
in the stairs.
This is so sad. So utterly sad.


. . .



I have been praying in agony
for little baby Ewan
(just as so many others have).
A loved child who briefly came to this earth
for his mother and father to hold.
He was here for his parents
to look into his eyes for two weeks.
(I believe he was here for countless good reasons)
Then he closed his eyes,
left his body laying in the arms of his Mother
and went to heaven!

I am greatful to his Mother
for her streangth and kindness
in midst of her pain
that she was able
to share Ewan life and battle
with us at www.team-ewan.com
I just read how she
together with the closest
took farewell of him
and as I cried reading it -
I felt so much peace !


. . .



I will now go to my studio
where a candle is lit for my sister in law
and continue painting the portrait
of a beloved wife
who passed away this spring.

She has a kind, peaceful smile
that will help her man and daughters
always to be greatful for
having been tied together in love.

Dear God, help me understand what is important in life before it is too late!
...and by the way God, is there a "too late?"

Where am I going?


A friend of mine believes I am following my heart
in how I choose to live my life.

I wished I did.

Because somewhere in there -
in my heart
is my whispering God.

Quietly He whispers
a few words of truth and direction
at the time.
I want to hear His whispers
and be sure to follow His directions...

But it is very loud around here!

In search for companions and The Purpose

Persistant is a lovely word!
I think I may be that (in many but not in all ways).
But there is another word that I am searching for
a quality I would love to have...

I am pretty carefree.
In times that is a strength.
But even more so I admire people that are not.
I like folks who put lots of care into things!

Now what is that word I am searching for???

Well anyway, do you know what I would LOVE?
I would love having a buisness/company
together with a handful of people
that all strive for the same goal!

We should together cover many good qualities
that a successfull company needs.
(just as these fellows are good at different tasks)
Together we would be strong.

I don´t know what our company is doing
but it works artisticly.
It works with beauty.
It is a company that makes a difference.
Somehow it is feeding peoples souls...

We would all work purposefully and persistantly
with lots of joy!
We will all love going to work
and we will all feel very engaged in our endeavours.
What we do is meaningful.

And there are some peolple I have in mind
that would sute great for this (whatever "this" is)
People that are more practical than I.
People that are GOOD at answerig and at talking and at being nice.
People that are more orderly than I am.
People that are quicker and more energetic than I.
(Kolla här!)

I like what I am doing now as well.
But still - what a dream it would be to have working companions!
Together we would be so much stronger.
Together we could do greater things.
And have more fun.

Every little piece in the buisness should be well thought throu.

The pictures above
are from Noaks kindergarden.
It is the BEST!!!
It is a small place; 35 kids divided into six groups of mixed ages.
Most children goes home like Noak at two.
It is calm, peaceful and kind
with a beautiful garden.
With two hens and a cock.
With a little "round" house in wich
they sit on chilly rainy, days
around a fire drinking their tea.

This evening I will start reading a book
together with some people
dealing with "the purpuse of you your life".
That will be good.
Hopefully even these thoughts
will become clearer in the process...

My man is ironing clothes now
He was about to make a new song
as I came back home.
He could not continue
what he was doing
having another person in the appartment.
I interrupted him in his process.

So, he is ironing clothes now instead
in the sunny livingroom...

I AM VERY PROUD AND HAPPY
...to say that yesterday I was "a good mother"!
We started some weeks ago my son and I
talking about making a little house for him above his bed.
I made drawings on how to do it in the best way.
My little boy needs challanges and interresting things to do.
I have not been good enough at offering him this, I feel.
But yesterday was the big day when we finally
bought the material we need for it.
After he comes home from kindergarden today
he will attend "moms building school"
and we will start building it together!

MY COMMISSION RIGHT NOW
...is a private one.
A very special task, indeed.
A lovely man called me up this summer
asking if I could paint his wife.
His wife had recently passed away
and he wanted her portrait in their home.
We got together and talked about it.
I saw pictures of her. Many pictures but not one that was really good.
By being in their home I got a feeling for the ones that inhabitaded it.
I got a feeling for her.
He toled me about her.
I feel I know her a bit now.
By energy gained throught his and mine conversations
and by putting four different picures together
I have come up with a picture to work from.
Now, all that remains is the job of painting this beautiful lady.

A PICTURE FROM MY DESK
Also the picture I use on my computers screen
since I reinstalled everything after a crash some weeks ago.
Much was lost in the crash.
It felt like a fresh start
to start over with a clean, blank computer!