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Life and Death

Today is the day my aunt was born
many, many years ago...
I will call her a bit later.

My eyes are wet.
My heart is peaceful.

So much life and death.

This month, last year my Father
passed away peacefully at home
with my Mother and my little brother
close to him.

My dear friend in this house has a
new little life growing in her womb!
And I have the honor and joy
to follow her to hospital
to be at her side
and see this little growing life on the monitor
waving its legs and arms
and to see its preacious little heart pump!

(Also in this entrance where we live -
on second floor
is little Emma, Annies newborn sister.
She was borned one week earlier than Ewan...)

There is much life and death now.

My dear Annika lost her Mother
three days ago.
Abby lost her grandmother
and my oldest brother has lost his wife.
Jenny and Josef lost their daughter.

Wenke never came to bed and
in the Sunday morning
my brother found her dead
in the stairs.
This is so sad. So utterly sad.


. . .



I have been praying in agony
for little baby Ewan
(just as so many others have).
A loved child who briefly came to this earth
for his mother and father to hold.
He was here for his parents
to look into his eyes for two weeks.
(I believe he was here for countless good reasons)
Then he closed his eyes,
left his body laying in the arms of his Mother
and went to heaven!

I am greatful to his Mother
for her streangth and kindness
in midst of her pain
that she was able
to share Ewan life and battle
with us at www.team-ewan.com
I just read how she
together with the closest
took farewell of him
and as I cried reading it -
I felt so much peace !


. . .



I will now go to my studio
where a candle is lit for my sister in law
and continue painting the portrait
of a beloved wife
who passed away this spring.

She has a kind, peaceful smile
that will help her man and daughters
always to be greatful for
having been tied together in love.

Dear God, help me understand what is important in life before it is too late!
...and by the way God, is there a "too late?"

Where am I going?


A friend of mine believes I am following my heart
in how I choose to live my life.

I wished I did.

Because somewhere in there -
in my heart
is my whispering God.

Quietly He whispers
a few words of truth and direction
at the time.
I want to hear His whispers
and be sure to follow His directions...

But it is very loud around here!

In search for companions and The Purpose

Persistant is a lovely word!
I think I may be that (in many but not in all ways).
But there is another word that I am searching for
a quality I would love to have...

I am pretty carefree.
In times that is a strength.
But even more so I admire people that are not.
I like folks who put lots of care into things!

Now what is that word I am searching for???

Well anyway, do you know what I would LOVE?
I would love having a buisness/company
together with a handful of people
that all strive for the same goal!

We should together cover many good qualities
that a successfull company needs.
(just as these fellows are good at different tasks)
Together we would be strong.

I don´t know what our company is doing
but it works artisticly.
It works with beauty.
It is a company that makes a difference.
Somehow it is feeding peoples souls...

We would all work purposefully and persistantly
with lots of joy!
We will all love going to work
and we will all feel very engaged in our endeavours.
What we do is meaningful.

And there are some peolple I have in mind
that would sute great for this (whatever "this" is)
People that are more practical than I.
People that are GOOD at answerig and at talking and at being nice.
People that are more orderly than I am.
People that are quicker and more energetic than I.
(Kolla här!)

I like what I am doing now as well.
But still - what a dream it would be to have working companions!
Together we would be so much stronger.
Together we could do greater things.
And have more fun.

Every little piece in the buisness should be well thought throu.

The pictures above
are from Noaks kindergarden.
It is the BEST!!!
It is a small place; 35 kids divided into six groups of mixed ages.
Most children goes home like Noak at two.
It is calm, peaceful and kind
with a beautiful garden.
With two hens and a cock.
With a little "round" house in wich
they sit on chilly rainy, days
around a fire drinking their tea.

This evening I will start reading a book
together with some people
dealing with "the purpuse of you your life".
That will be good.
Hopefully even these thoughts
will become clearer in the process...

My man is ironing clothes now
He was about to make a new song
as I came back home.
He could not continue
what he was doing
having another person in the appartment.
I interrupted him in his process.

So, he is ironing clothes now instead
in the sunny livingroom...

I AM VERY PROUD AND HAPPY
...to say that yesterday I was "a good mother"!
We started some weeks ago my son and I
talking about making a little house for him above his bed.
I made drawings on how to do it in the best way.
My little boy needs challanges and interresting things to do.
I have not been good enough at offering him this, I feel.
But yesterday was the big day when we finally
bought the material we need for it.
After he comes home from kindergarden today
he will attend "moms building school"
and we will start building it together!

MY COMMISSION RIGHT NOW
...is a private one.
A very special task, indeed.
A lovely man called me up this summer
asking if I could paint his wife.
His wife had recently passed away
and he wanted her portrait in their home.
We got together and talked about it.
I saw pictures of her. Many pictures but not one that was really good.
By being in their home I got a feeling for the ones that inhabitaded it.
I got a feeling for her.
He toled me about her.
I feel I know her a bit now.
By energy gained throught his and mine conversations
and by putting four different picures together
I have come up with a picture to work from.
Now, all that remains is the job of painting this beautiful lady.

A PICTURE FROM MY DESK
Also the picture I use on my computers screen
since I reinstalled everything after a crash some weeks ago.
Much was lost in the crash.
It felt like a fresh start
to start over with a clean, blank computer!

I´ld say Stockholm is nice
This is where I am fortunate to live.
I wouldn´t call it my town -
I was borned and risen elsewhere
and I live not within the actual city
but in a gray suburb.
But this is my capitol
wich I am proud of!

I want to share it with you.

From time to time I will add things
about Stockholm wich I like
to this post.

Enjoy!




S T O C K H O L M

• Mosebacke torg
  
• Thielska galleriet
• Brända tomten
• Fotografiska muséet
• Skansen
• Nordins papper
• Ljunggrens Papper
• Det lille skyltmakeriet
• Blå porten
• Bloms café
• Afro Art
  

Serenity

I woke up feeling so much more comfortable with my life.
My thoughts were talking with me.
Things were falling into places.

My son and I had just gotten back
from four days at my mothers.

Noak was happy and free there.
We slept next to the open window
from where we could see the sky.

There was no sound from the highway.
All we could hear were birds singing to us.

And Noak was excited exploring
my Mothers old, crowded house-
so different from an apartment in the city.



* * *


Jessica

We took a trip to Arvika
to visit my old friend Jessica.
We used to live there in Arvika my man and I.
Six years ago.
Before moving to Stockholm.

When I first moved to Arvika
I looked in a catalouge of local artists.
I looked at their art.
I asked myself whom of the artists
I thought I could make friend with.

I thought Jessica would make a good friend
so I called her.
She came over
and from that moment on
we´ve been friends she and I.

Jessica "waste" no time thinking.
She is always active.
She is the best cook.
She raised five kids.
She works as a midwife.
And she paints.

She is a driven and productive watercolorist.
A frequent exhibitor.
Mainly she has become known for her house paintings.
I love her flowerpaintings.

Since last time I visited Jessica, six years ago, she and her man had buildt a lovely big house next to the lake.
Below is a watercolor of a house in Arvika by Jessica:



Arvika
In the beginning of last century
Arvika became inhabited by many artists.
They settled down around the lake, Racken.
A drive around Racken is a lovely experience.
(A swim in it in the summer evening is too)
The houses.
The scenery.

Much of the art by these artists
can be seen at the little museum of art:
"Racksta muséet".


portrait of Maja Fjaestad 1905, by Björn Ahlgrensson - one of the Racksta artists

I wish to write more about Arvika.
But that will be another time.
Now I will hand over the computer to my son
so that he can wach "fåret Shaun"

Making plans
She asked: "What are your plans for next week?"
I felt speakless. "I don´t make plans" I said.
(Never even though of making week-plans)

I continued thinking of her question...

I like not making too many plans in my everyday life.
It IS a beauty in not knowing what is to be
and to take LIFE as it comes.

Now was summer
and a time just to be,
therefore my plans were none.

But when it comes to my proffession;
plans are necessary if I want to get somewhere!
In my proffession I do make long term plans.

When I am in midst of a commission
I have a job to do -
plans may seem not so necessary to think of.
But NOW I realize that even then I need a strategy -
a plan to work on side by side as I paint.

Those long term plans that I am making
I feel will be much easier to turn into reality
if I brake them down into "nice, handy little time packages of weeks".

Never thought of making week-plans.

What are your plans for next week?

ON MY MIND TODAY:
I want structure and goals to strive for.
I do not just want to live to survive.

R I G H T . N O W

N O T . T O M O R R O W

Princes and princesses of Tensta

is the name of my exhibition that is to start

in one month and one day.

Still much to do.

40 pictures all in black and white

to be shown under our watertower.

Brigida!

I enjoyed hearing from you yesterday... and today!

I am bizier than ever these days

working on a big photoexhibiton.

Everything should be ready within a month.

So I will not be blogging for a while...

but I´ld love to keep i touch!

/Olga